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At 23, I’m starting to believe that it’s unhealthy to take leaving against one another.
Because leaving does not always mean betrayal. And I think that, sometimes, we’re not particularly afraid of losing people. What we’re really afraid of is having to learn to do life without them. Because, ultimately, we are creatures of habit and comfort.
One day not far from today, that just might be our demise.
Because the world is changing and we are changing, all the time, forever and ever. And, sometimes, by holding on too hard, we lose.
And loss can be ugly, beautiful, scary or all of the above but I have found that it is, more than anything, necessary.
So when people leave, I’ve learned the secret: let them. Because, most of the time, they have to.
Let them walk away and go places. Let them have adventures in the wild without you. Let them travel the world and explore life beyond a horizon that you exist in. And know, deep down, that heroes aren’t qualified by their capacity to stay but by their decision to return.
All great people leave.
And, yes. One day, a great person just might leave you.
But our lives are made of revolving doors and for every person who leaves, a new person enters. Not as a replacement but as a completely new character in the ever-evolving story of your life.
When you leave, you begin to understand the worth of what you walked away from. You discover that walking out is not always equivalent to closing doors. Sometimes it means leaving them half-open for the journey back. It is not a virtue possessed by the easily contented. It has always been the beaten down path of the brave.
One fine day, it will be your turn. You will leave homes, cities and countries to pursue grander ambitions. You will leave friends, lovers and possibilities for the chance to roam the world and make deeper connections. You will defy your fear of change, hold your head high and do what you once thought was unthinkable: walk away. And it will be scary. At first. But what I hope you’ll find in the end is that in leaving, you don’t just find love, adventure or freedom. More than anything, you find you.
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The Staying Philosophy
, Isa Garcia